It has happened. My last baby, my youngest child has entered her Senior Year of High School. <sigh>
I know, I know how many times have you seen the words written "Where has the time gone?" But it is true isn't it? We can't wrap our brains around the amount of time that has passed us by.
I have always tried to be there for my 4 children, I have given up and gone without many "things" to be home with my children during their formative years. I bought nothing for myself and gave all to them, I had no hobbies of my own to support their activities. In essence, I stopped being my own person and became a Mom 25 years ago. I don't know a life without sacrifice....But I wouldn't trade "things" for the time with my children. I know Daycare's are necessary and thank God they are available, but they were not my choice and again thank God that I was able to sacrifice and stay home as the economy is only getting tougher. By no means did I live an extravagant life. I lived/live paycheck to paycheck always finding a way to make ends meet. I currently work about 70 hours a week to afford the house, braces for 2, helping with college for 2 and soon to be 3. There has never been 1 month since I was 20 1/2 years old that I could pay my bills on Day 1 and not worry the rest of the month. But I can also tell you that even though I went back to work after my divorce--I have missed very few of my kids activities as they have always been Priority 1.
Many will say "you can go on a new journey or take up a new hobby and do things for yourself that you have not done all of these years." And yes, that does have a certain appeal--but pretty much I just feel lost, lonely, heartbroken and each day that passes is just one day sooner I will watch her graduate and then it will REALLY be over...... So what to do?
Wake up-- Breathe--Look at her eyes everyday! Capture as many mental moments as I possibly can. Enjoy every Football game she cheers at no matter how cold or rainy. Shop for the Perfect Prom dress! Wipe her tears when her boyfriend breaks up with her... again. Chat about her future college life (she is already accepted and could have gone to college over her Senior Year of HS--sooo glad she didn't!)......pretty much enjoy every single minute left of the 178 school days she has left and encourage her to continue to remain above the influence, continue keeping her friends on the right track and remind her to not worry about the petty stuff but to embrace this final year in all it's glory and be a role model for the Underclassmen! Give praise to God, forgive your enemies, be a friend to the friendless.